One of the best break-up songs of all time.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Monday, November 21, 2011
To Write a Novel
I write this in honor of all those who are taking part of NaMoWriMo.
It's really not easy writing a novel. You think as long as you have a good idea, you can write it down into a piece of literature that will bring each and every reader to their knees in awe.
Unfortunately that is really not an easy thing to do. As you write you suddenly become very aware of your inabilities as a writer. If it's in first person narrative, you're suddenly aware of how many times you write the word "I". You suddenly start counting every comma you use, paniced at the idea that you're not being grammatically correct. You find you suck at writing the part inbetween main scenes and your dialouge is forced. You end up curled on the floor in the fetal position.
Or maybe thats just me.
Anyway, I salute you who attempt NaNoWriMo! You are brave brave souls.
It's really not easy writing a novel. You think as long as you have a good idea, you can write it down into a piece of literature that will bring each and every reader to their knees in awe.
Unfortunately that is really not an easy thing to do. As you write you suddenly become very aware of your inabilities as a writer. If it's in first person narrative, you're suddenly aware of how many times you write the word "I". You suddenly start counting every comma you use, paniced at the idea that you're not being grammatically correct. You find you suck at writing the part inbetween main scenes and your dialouge is forced. You end up curled on the floor in the fetal position.
Or maybe thats just me.
Anyway, I salute you who attempt NaNoWriMo! You are brave brave souls.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
The Most Miserable 15 Minutes of My Life
Recently I had to undergo an endoscopic procedure to attempt to diagnose some GI issues I've been having lately. I was assured the entire time that is is an unobtrusive, relatively painless, easy procedure that would take about 15 minutes and that I would be able to walk away from it feeling perfectly chipper and healthy.
Everyone lied.
It was the most traumatizing experience I've ever gone through and I've been to the head trauma center for a possible broken neck.
First of all, I've never had anything like this done to me before. The closest to it was when I had my wisdom teeth removed, and I was only given laughing gas for that. I'm also not a big fan of needles, so the thought of an actual tube being shoved up a vein was terrifying.
After the bloody painful jabbing, i was terrified of moving my arm because i was convinced that i would either pull out the IV and start spewing blood/have to be jabbed again or that i would feel the tube knocking up against my bones and tendons. Don't tell me if this was logical or not, I was terrified.
Once they took me to the surgery room, they proceeded to grill me about my bodily functions and then sprayed this foul tasting gunk into my mouth, which immediately made my tongue, jaw, and throat go completely numb. And then they asked me more questions. Questions that I couldn't answer because they had just stolen the power of speech from me. Then they gave me knock out drugs that made me loose grip on both reality and my general motor skills. Despite this I was expected to roll over onto my side and open my mouth wide enough to have a harness strapped to my head to keep my mouth open.
That is the last thing I remember before the procedure.
The next thing I knew, I was semi-conscious, blind and struggling to breath around this mass of rubber tubing almost completely blocking my entire esophagus. I responded as any sane, half alive creature would do; I started struggling afraid I was going to suffocate. This led to me being held down and told to breathe deeply and calm down. This made me struggle more, especially when I felt the tubing being pulled out slowly. I could feel it in it's entirety, from my mouth and throat all the way down into my stomach. I. Was. Terrified. ... and still completely unable to see.
The end of the procedure and my journey into the recovery room was blurred; I can't remember much of it except for people telling me to calm down and blurry flashes of light. The next lucid memory I had was of my dad holding my hand and wiping away the tears on my face. The doctor was there, but I couldn't understand anything he was telling me. I remember a nurse forcing me to drink some water, being questioned on how much pain I was in, and my IV being pulled out. I was in pain, I was confused, and I didn't care that a nurse had to help me get dressed, I just wanted to get out of there.
I was wheeled out to the car in a wheelchair that moved much to quickly and that I was convinced I was going to fall out of. I slept all the way home and the rest of the weekend was spent in a blur of sleeping and disturbingly large gaps of memory.
In conclusion: minor procedure my ass. That was the bloddy most terrifying thing I have ever experienced and there is no way in hell I ever want to go through anything like it again. But what makes it more perfect is, I probably will have to go through it again. But worse. Because I might need surgery on my small intestines. If I woke up before they finished pulling a tube out of my throat and freaked out, how am I going to react if I wake up before they're done sewing me back together?
No. Thank. You.
Even though it technically wasn't a surgical procedure, I'm insisting on calling it exploratory surgery, because 1. they did take tissue samples and they were looking for tumors/cancer and 2. it was traumatizing enough for me to think it merits as surgery. People just don't understand the horrifying impact it had on my unless I call it surgery.
 |
| They also promised me unicorns and rainbows |
Everyone lied.
It was the most traumatizing experience I've ever gone through and I've been to the head trauma center for a possible broken neck.
 |
| I thought I could fly as a child |
Once they took me to the surgery room, they proceeded to grill me about my bodily functions and then sprayed this foul tasting gunk into my mouth, which immediately made my tongue, jaw, and throat go completely numb. And then they asked me more questions. Questions that I couldn't answer because they had just stolen the power of speech from me. Then they gave me knock out drugs that made me loose grip on both reality and my general motor skills. Despite this I was expected to roll over onto my side and open my mouth wide enough to have a harness strapped to my head to keep my mouth open.
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| It was worse than this. |
The next thing I knew, I was semi-conscious, blind and struggling to breath around this mass of rubber tubing almost completely blocking my entire esophagus. I responded as any sane, half alive creature would do; I started struggling afraid I was going to suffocate. This led to me being held down and told to breathe deeply and calm down. This made me struggle more, especially when I felt the tubing being pulled out slowly. I could feel it in it's entirety, from my mouth and throat all the way down into my stomach. I. Was. Terrified. ... and still completely unable to see.
The end of the procedure and my journey into the recovery room was blurred; I can't remember much of it except for people telling me to calm down and blurry flashes of light. The next lucid memory I had was of my dad holding my hand and wiping away the tears on my face. The doctor was there, but I couldn't understand anything he was telling me. I remember a nurse forcing me to drink some water, being questioned on how much pain I was in, and my IV being pulled out. I was in pain, I was confused, and I didn't care that a nurse had to help me get dressed, I just wanted to get out of there.
I was wheeled out to the car in a wheelchair that moved much to quickly and that I was convinced I was going to fall out of. I slept all the way home and the rest of the weekend was spent in a blur of sleeping and disturbingly large gaps of memory.
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| I was probably acting like this |
In conclusion: minor procedure my ass. That was the bloddy most terrifying thing I have ever experienced and there is no way in hell I ever want to go through anything like it again. But what makes it more perfect is, I probably will have to go through it again. But worse. Because I might need surgery on my small intestines. If I woke up before they finished pulling a tube out of my throat and freaked out, how am I going to react if I wake up before they're done sewing me back together?
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| I just know I'll look like that |
No. Thank. You.
Even though it technically wasn't a surgical procedure, I'm insisting on calling it exploratory surgery, because 1. they did take tissue samples and they were looking for tumors/cancer and 2. it was traumatizing enough for me to think it merits as surgery. People just don't understand the horrifying impact it had on my unless I call it surgery.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Glee
I know I talked about Glee in my post My Top 5 TV Shows. However due to a Glee marathon last night with my college roommates, I feel compelled to discuss it again, especially since next Tuesday is the start of the third season.
I don't deny I have a great fondness for Glee. I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that it inspired me to join the school a capella group, half hoping that being a apart of this group will allow me to burst into song at any point in the day and not be looked at weirdly for it.
However, during the marathon last night, I made a realization. I either hate or are indifferent to 98% of the cast of Glee.
For example, let's look at Rachel Barry. Many people would say that she's a great role model for girls since she knows what she wants in life and isn't afraid to work hard to achieve her goals. Plus she has a healthy amount of self esteem right?
Wrong. She's a self centered, rude, pushy, insensitive, immature little b-....brat. She manipulates everyone around her in her mad clawing dash to the top of the ladder. Everything is about her her her her HER, and she can't conceive ever being wrong. She'll stab you in the back with this sweet little smile and then sulk for days thinking of manipulative ways to get back at you if you DARE do the same to her.
Example two, Mr. Will Shuester.
As the leader of the glee club, Mr. Shuester works tirelessly to help the children in the glee club rise above their surroundings and survive the horrible, traumatizing events high school throw at them, ranging from bullying, teen pregnancy, dealing with different sexualities, to illness of family members. Isn't that nice of him? Doesn't he sound like a nice, dependable, stalwart individual?
Sure he is. Except for when he's being a selfish butt-munch. Take the beginning of season 2. Will was such a complete and total obsessive stalker of poor Emma. She clearly wanted to be with that other dude who's name escapes me at the moment, and Will even made a pact with that dentist dude not to try to steal away Emma, but what does will do? He tries to steal Emma away.
What makes this worse is, HE ALREADY BLEW IT WITH HER. You had you chance shmoozer, you blew it, she doesn't want you, move on. I know divorce can be traumatizing, but my dad is divorced for reasons just as bad as Terri pretending to be pregnant, but he has maintained his dignity.
Also I just don't think he's that attractive. His chin looks like a butt.
Pretty much all the other characters I'm indifferent to. They have their good moments, they have their bad moments, and some of them just don't make much or an impression on me, good or bad, but mainly they're just being stupid teens with their stupid teen drama. And for some reason that amuses me enough to continue watching the show.
I do like Brittany and Sue though. Brittany is such an airhead that everything she says is funny. You just can't help liking her in all her child-like glory. She's sweet and endearing and really doesn't have a mean bone in her body. Everything she does wrong is done because she doesn't understand, not because she's spiteful or selfish. And my god can that girl dance.
As for Sue, i think all of us wants to be like her in someway. She has a freedom to say what she wants when she wants to say it, and says it in a creative, often highly amusing manner. She's portrayed as the vilian, but quite honestly she has her good points and her bad points, and once you learn her back-story you can understand why she is the way she is. She's devious, but in a delightful way, mainly because you don't have to directly deal with her.
I honestly don't know exactly what it is that draws me so strongly to Glee. I tried explaining it in my last review, but it came up short. I think it's more of the idea of being a safe place and yet a place for dreams to come true. You can watch the show from the saftey of your couch, but if you're brave enough, you can audition for Glee and you might just be able to join the cast. It's kind of a nice feeling, don't you think?
I don't deny I have a great fondness for Glee. I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that it inspired me to join the school a capella group, half hoping that being a apart of this group will allow me to burst into song at any point in the day and not be looked at weirdly for it.
 | |
| When I tried to do this, the police were called. |
However, during the marathon last night, I made a realization. I either hate or are indifferent to 98% of the cast of Glee.
 |
| I only like one of these people. |
 |
| The face of a star |
Wrong. She's a self centered, rude, pushy, insensitive, immature little b-....brat. She manipulates everyone around her in her mad clawing dash to the top of the ladder. Everything is about her her her her HER, and she can't conceive ever being wrong. She'll stab you in the back with this sweet little smile and then sulk for days thinking of manipulative ways to get back at you if you DARE do the same to her.
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| Wouldn't Susan B. Anthony be proud |
Sure he is. Except for when he's being a selfish butt-munch. Take the beginning of season 2. Will was such a complete and total obsessive stalker of poor Emma. She clearly wanted to be with that other dude who's name escapes me at the moment, and Will even made a pact with that dentist dude not to try to steal away Emma, but what does will do? He tries to steal Emma away.
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| Look at the fear in her eyes |
Also I just don't think he's that attractive. His chin looks like a butt.
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| Don't try to deny it |
Pretty much all the other characters I'm indifferent to. They have their good moments, they have their bad moments, and some of them just don't make much or an impression on me, good or bad, but mainly they're just being stupid teens with their stupid teen drama. And for some reason that amuses me enough to continue watching the show.
I do like Brittany and Sue though. Brittany is such an airhead that everything she says is funny. You just can't help liking her in all her child-like glory. She's sweet and endearing and really doesn't have a mean bone in her body. Everything she does wrong is done because she doesn't understand, not because she's spiteful or selfish. And my god can that girl dance.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Nostaliga Critic vs. Nostalgia Chick
Not too long ago, I was introduced to the fact that there was a perfectly marvelous source of entertainment lurking about inter webs. An entertainment that ruined childhood memories, introduced me to others that I had not known of, made me fond of, and then ruined as well. This God among Gods, King of Sarcasam, Guru of Shouting in a High Pitched Squeal, the original That Guy With the Glasses himself... The Nostaligia Critic.
He's the perfect example of internet fame. The man has his own deviant artist, two movies, hundreds of reviews under his belt, a raging fandom, multiple personalities, his own website, his very own page on Cracked, started multiple internet memes, and goes to cons as a guest speaker. He has done more than most people who attempt to be critics of anything.
For example did you know that he has his very own IMdB page? He does. You go ahead and google it, I'll wait.
I have enjoyed all of his reviews, and for good reason. He has an excellent grasp of comedic timing, and enough knowledge of the different aspect of film to prevent the reviews from being nothing more then senseless, self centered ranting. He does indeed "go one step beyond."
Plus he's wonderfully quoteable.
There is only one thing I can think of that I feel the Nostalgia Critic did wrong. He unleashed an unspeakable horror on our world... It started innocently enough in a contest... and ended in this....
The Nostalgia Chick.
Oh. My. God. I hate her. She not only destroys everything I love, but she does it in such an assanine, self-serving manner! Her first few videos were all right, she actually followed the format that Nostalgia Critic set up, somewhat. However, as she grew more confident in her abilities, she took some artistic liberties. Such as using the reviews as a podium for all her friends to get a few minutes of fame.
Yes, I know that Nostalgia Critic does that too, but he does it relatively sparingly. It seems that Nostalgia Chick can't go a single review without pulling up one or more of her back up dancers.
Also, she does not actually go through the movies and shows properly. She just throws little clips at you, and then whines about how historically inaccurate it is, how anti-feminist it is, or starts something and turns it into something else.
Now, to be fair, I did like the double review she and Nostalgia Critic did of Fern Gully. And her musical reviews have certainly been informative. I might like her better if she say... stuck to musicals, and I admit to being extremely annoyed at most of today's feminists who really haven't suffered through anything that bad. But she is tied to the Nostaligic name and as such, I just don't think she is up to snuff. Change her to Musical Chick or something like that, but don't tie her in with the Nostalgia Critic. In my humble opinion, they simply are not in the same league.
Plus I like Arwen, and Nostalgia Chick ruined her in Suburban Knights. In an un-funny way.
For example did you know that he has his very own IMdB page? He does. You go ahead and google it, I'll wait.
Plus he's wonderfully quoteable.
There is only one thing I can think of that I feel the Nostalgia Critic did wrong. He unleashed an unspeakable horror on our world... It started innocently enough in a contest... and ended in this....
 | |
| "I am so incredibly bratty! Teehee!" |
Oh. My. God. I hate her. She not only destroys everything I love, but she does it in such an assanine, self-serving manner! Her first few videos were all right, she actually followed the format that Nostalgia Critic set up, somewhat. However, as she grew more confident in her abilities, she took some artistic liberties. Such as using the reviews as a podium for all her friends to get a few minutes of fame.
Yes, I know that Nostalgia Critic does that too, but he does it relatively sparingly. It seems that Nostalgia Chick can't go a single review without pulling up one or more of her back up dancers.
Also, she does not actually go through the movies and shows properly. She just throws little clips at you, and then whines about how historically inaccurate it is, how anti-feminist it is, or starts something and turns it into something else.
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| "I can do whatever I want cause I'm famous bitches!" |
Now, to be fair, I did like the double review she and Nostalgia Critic did of Fern Gully. And her musical reviews have certainly been informative. I might like her better if she say... stuck to musicals, and I admit to being extremely annoyed at most of today's feminists who really haven't suffered through anything that bad. But she is tied to the Nostaligic name and as such, I just don't think she is up to snuff. Change her to Musical Chick or something like that, but don't tie her in with the Nostalgia Critic. In my humble opinion, they simply are not in the same league.
Plus I like Arwen, and Nostalgia Chick ruined her in Suburban Knights. In an un-funny way.
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| See, you made her cry |
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Why Men Cannot Ride Horses
So I recently had my first riding lesson, and was thrown into the idea of the horse "trotting." So if you're new to the idea, as I sort of was, it's the speed between the horse walking and the horse running. And this led me to an amusing little revelation.
It really hurts.
And those furry, little bastards enjoy doing it to you, I'm pretty sure. I swear the horse I was on was doing it on purpose.
See, what you're supposed to do to prevent this pain is to "post" which basically means "lift your butt out of the saddle in a rhythmic way so it doesn't get pounded into the saddle every two seconds".... which sounds way creepier than what I meant... Moving on!
Anyway this takes more leg strength that a nerd like me possesses, so by the time this half hour lesson stopped, I was pretty well beaten up and had the bruises to prove it. With no thanks to the horse, i might add. I'm positive it was changing it's speed up just to mess with me, knowing that I had no experience and only signed up for riding classes in the first place because I wanted to ride a horse while listening to the LOTR sound track on my iPod and pretend I'm a Nazgul.
That being said, now that my loins, groin, and buttocks have recovered from that ordeal, am I giving up this fruitless endeavor?
Heck no! I will chase down little hobbitsses yet! To the Shire!
God I'm a nerd.
Anyway, this has brought me to the revelation that it makes perfect sense why cowboys have those nice comfy saddles and why jockeys are tiny pre-pubescent boys who ride squatting above the saddle. A horribly horribly graphically clear revelation.
It really hurts.
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| I'm a cute leetle horsey! |
And those furry, little bastards enjoy doing it to you, I'm pretty sure. I swear the horse I was on was doing it on purpose.
See, what you're supposed to do to prevent this pain is to "post" which basically means "lift your butt out of the saddle in a rhythmic way so it doesn't get pounded into the saddle every two seconds".... which sounds way creepier than what I meant... Moving on!
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| Such a majestic beast... |
Anyway this takes more leg strength that a nerd like me possesses, so by the time this half hour lesson stopped, I was pretty well beaten up and had the bruises to prove it. With no thanks to the horse, i might add. I'm positive it was changing it's speed up just to mess with me, knowing that I had no experience and only signed up for riding classes in the first place because I wanted to ride a horse while listening to the LOTR sound track on my iPod and pretend I'm a Nazgul.
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| Don't judge me |
Heck no! I will chase down little hobbitsses yet! To the Shire!
God I'm a nerd.
Anyway, this has brought me to the revelation that it makes perfect sense why cowboys have those nice comfy saddles and why jockeys are tiny pre-pubescent boys who ride squatting above the saddle. A horribly horribly graphically clear revelation.
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| Only the Castrati are men enough to ride horses properly. | Click it I dare you. |
Monday, August 15, 2011
My Top Five TV Shows
I don't watch a whole lot of TV and I'm very picky about the ones I do like. Even if I do like a show, it's unlikely that I'll go all drooling fan over it. So I decided to give a list of my top five and one honorable mention. So without further ado, I present my top 5 TV shows.
Honorable Mention: Supernatural
Great actors, great action, great monsters... Why is it only an honorable mention then?
Because I only like the first few seasons with drooling adoration. Sammy got a little too whiny and emo for me, but I still love it and watch it whenever I can!
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| Dean is awesome enough to make up for the whining |
5. Glee
I think this is the only popular show that is a musical at the same time. Oddly enough, I find the majority of the characters annoying in some way or another. *coughRachelcough*
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| Yeah you go ahead and cry Miss Rubber-Band Mouth |
But the music is lovely and the story lines are addictive.
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| You love them together, admit it |
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| Just kidding, it was for Bigfoot |
4. Big Bang Theory
Nerd Jokes! Nerd jokes everywhere! Since my dad is an engineer, I actually understand a lot of what's going on in even the super nerdy quantum physics way. It makes it even more awesome.
I confess I love this show namely for Sheldon. He's so amazingly awkward. The perfect blend of human, alien, genius, man child, and germaphobe.
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| This look perfectly normal to me |
How about the ball pit?
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| Pop goes the weasel |
It's also very awesome to 'bazinga' someone.
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| Brain zapping is good too |
I personally maintain that Sheldon actually has a thing for Penny whether or not he realizes it and they will end up together.
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| Awww that's not awkward at all |
Howard and Raj are kind of adorable too.
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| In a wussy way |
3. Friends
Admit it, you've measured your group of friends against the 6 to see who matches who.
2. Scrubs
I'm not very fond of doctors as a rule. They tend to disappoint me, steal my blood, and pretend to know what they're doing. Imagining that it's JD trying to figure out what's wrong with me makes me feel a little more kindly to them when they mess up.
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| You can't be mad at those faces |
In all seriousness though, Scrubs in one of those shows with the perfect blend of comedy and seriousness. It makes me laugh, it makes me cry, and each character is as beloved as the last.
And so fun to quote!
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| Eaaaaaaagle!!! |
Also please note, I don't count the 9th season. It's not the same show in the slightest. Not that it's not amusing, but it's not the same show.
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| Look at those smug little brats |
1. How I Met Your Mother
I absolutely love love LOVE How I Met Your Mother. I also love Barney and Robin as a couple, just sayin.
It's both the funniest and most heartfelt show I have ever seen. The comedy moments are hilarious and the touching moments always have made me start crying. The characters are all loveable and likeable and relatable to some point. You really care about what happens to them and feel each heartache and joy they go through.
I have never seen such an intricate show. There is an amazing amount of detail that's woven into every single episode. If they ever cancel this show before we find out who Ted ends up marrying, there's an immense amount of hard work and planning that will be lost. You can't fully appreciate how much detail there is until you have a marathon of the episodes.
Best. TV. Show. Ever.
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